Maria’s the girl down at the health club who teases you with her tight body and tiny workout clothes but never gives you the time of day. You want to fuck her so bad, but you can’t have her. “Well, here I am, guys,” she said. “You still can’t have me, but you can fantasize about me.” That’s girl talk for, “You can yank your cock and spray your sperm all over your computer screen.” Be her guest.